return my video game
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
