she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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