I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
