"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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