You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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