Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
