who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
