Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  who do you think you are?

  (407): View more from Florida

  someone who doesn't ask that question

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  (716): who do you think you are? (407): someone who doesn't ask that question http://tfl.nu/uw7n
  Replies (4) Good night (3950) Bad night (1339)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....

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  (310): I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited.... http://tfl.nu/l21f
  Replies (23) Good night (4210) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?

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  (765): Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis? http://tfl.nu/def9
  Replies (21) Good night (1219) Bad night (3157)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(

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  (601): Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :( http://tfl.nu/zxos
  Replies (34) Good night (2350) Bad night (4990)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once

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  (860): it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once http://tfl.nu/6yr8
  Replies (9) Good night (4227) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'

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  (972): You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.' http://tfl.nu/1grt
  Replies (22) Good night (2393) Bad night (4626)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..

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  (706): having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear.. http://tfl.nu/j8z4
  Replies (16) Good night (2367) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.

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  (970): I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly. http://tfl.nu/vykw
  Replies (14) Good night (1272) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.

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  (630): I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode. http://tfl.nu/h8l8
  Replies (11) Good night (3143) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.

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  (914): I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot. http://tfl.nu/25dg
  Replies (9) Good night (1163) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong

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  (410): Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong http://tfl.nu/3qt9
  Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging

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  (212): Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging http://tfl.nu/88q4
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.

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  (212): Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants. http://tfl.nu/1uem
  Replies (2) Good night (326) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.

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  (314): I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said. http://tfl.nu/hdx1
  Replies (2) Good night (314) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.

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  (336): After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/f6sp
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (185)

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