Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  you're out of your mind

  (518): View more from New York

  you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear

  (518): View more from New York

  it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence

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  (518): you're out of your mind (518): you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear (518): it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence http://tfl.nu/wmaw
  Replies (11) Good night (840) Bad night (2243)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.

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  (580): That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything. http://tfl.nu/fbvq
  Replies (77) Good night (2629) Bad night (4931)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar

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  (863): you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar http://tfl.nu/o1eu
  Replies (19) Good night (1005) Bad night (5235)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.

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  (212): You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido. http://tfl.nu/8t44
  Replies (36) Good night (1194) Bad night (5202)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard

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  (863): And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard http://tfl.nu/4drm
  Replies (22) Good night (8163) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids

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  (773): halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids http://tfl.nu/g564
  Replies (19) Good night (4386) Bad night (1424)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters

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  (765): just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters http://tfl.nu/51nh
  Replies (8) Good night (2988) Bad night (2212)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.

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  (631): I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight. http://tfl.nu/8jy4
  Replies (5) Good night (1638) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.

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  (813): Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night. http://tfl.nu/yhd7
  Replies (5) Good night (1449) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.

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  (+61): I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken. http://tfl.nu/mq32
  Replies (7) Good night (1208) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"

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  (513): hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment" http://tfl.nu/qbsp
  Replies (9) Good night (1964) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.

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  (620): I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender. http://tfl.nu/s55r
  Replies (5) Good night (1563) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.

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  (203): Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off. http://tfl.nu/jh7m
  Replies (5) Good night (394) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.

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  (339): In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese. http://tfl.nu/cela
  Replies (4) Good night (627) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She shouldn't drink

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  (912): It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home (919): She shouldn't drink http://tfl.nu/4gbr
  Replies (9) Good night (568) Bad night (342)

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