I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.