First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.