Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"

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(443): View more from Maryland

hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?

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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

and then ....

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party

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(416): View more from Toronto

When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."

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