Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.

  (562): View more from California

  The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt

  (323): View more from California

  fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me

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  (323): Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though. (562): The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt (323): fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me http://tfl.nu/hrtm
  Replies (30) Good night (2524) Bad night (909)
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  (415): View more from California

  I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.

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  (415): I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me. http://tfl.nu/6ugc
  Replies (15) Good night (721) Bad night (2136)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach

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  (813): he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach http://tfl.nu/e6go
  Replies (25) Good night (3011) Bad night (2792)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!

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  (469): I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!! http://tfl.nu/b8q7
  Replies (46) Good night (1261) Bad night (26087)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet

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  (708): he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet http://tfl.nu/enn5
  Replies (40) Good night (6420) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.

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  (952): history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it. http://tfl.nu/1q62
  Replies (17) Good night (6426) Bad night (1015)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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  (508): Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila http://tfl.nu/42fz
  Replies (24) Good night (1408) Bad night (3854)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.

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  (970): I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it. http://tfl.nu/cqfe
  Replies (8) Good night (792) Bad night (6101)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.

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  (303): I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf. http://tfl.nu/kj2s
  Replies (20) Good night (7081) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.

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  (+61): Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking. http://tfl.nu/00hi
  Replies (6) Good night (700) Bad night (1601)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.

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  (678): Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job. http://tfl.nu/5ogs
  Replies (11) Good night (4084) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.

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  (856): Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass. http://tfl.nu/qahd
  Replies (4) Good night (1689) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss

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  (724): Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss http://tfl.nu/6mbx
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.

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  (651): Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation. http://tfl.nu/3ty8
  Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.

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  (570): I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen. (1-570): T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met. http://tfl.nu/8lnr
  Replies (3) Good night (282) Bad night (642)

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