ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
