oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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