summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
