i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
