I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
