I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
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screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
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It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"