im about as happy as oj after his trial
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck