this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She tied me up with her honor cords...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize