Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
