I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
