I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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