I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
