So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
pop tarts are not kleenex
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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