But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize