thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
