omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
