If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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