Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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