my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
