I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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