Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.

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  (586): I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business. http://tfl.nu/ppsa
  Replies (34) Good night (5269) Bad night (1556)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket

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  (615): i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket http://tfl.nu/krhl
  Replies (14) Good night (2659) Bad night (3886)
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  (858): View more from California

  Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.

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  (858): Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today. http://tfl.nu/g96b
  Replies (10) Good night (3501) Bad night (1454)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine

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  (412): Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine http://tfl.nu/x929
  Replies (15) Good night (4034) Bad night (1519)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?

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  (519): He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him? http://tfl.nu/ad81
  Replies (5) Good night (3297) Bad night (908)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.

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  (518): I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here. http://tfl.nu/4g6f
  Replies (13) Good night (543) Bad night (2834)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.

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  (785): The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked. http://tfl.nu/4i2t
  Replies (6) Good night (1774) Bad night (545)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Anderson Cooper just came out.

  (212): View more from New York

  Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.

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  (917): Anderson Cooper just came out. (212): Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor. http://tfl.nu/cxy2
  Replies (5) Good night (1610) Bad night (956)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life

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  (647): I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life http://tfl.nu/d1p7
  Replies (4) Good night (1159) Bad night (463)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi

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  (321): Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi http://tfl.nu/jeyc
  Replies (3) Good night (543) Bad night (1022)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...

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  (315): Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night... http://tfl.nu/s4lq
  Replies (5) Good night (642) Bad night (274)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  "what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.

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  (330): "what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that. http://tfl.nu/c3qo
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (299)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.

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  (941): Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked. http://tfl.nu/l2tu
  Replies (1) Good night (230) Bad night (694)
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  (143): View more from

  I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month

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  (143): I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month http://tfl.nu/nllz
  Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (368)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.

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  (646): He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body. http://tfl.nu/dbfa
  Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (267)

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