Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her http://tfl.nu/d3n8

Replies (32) Good night (4230) Bad night (800)
Favorite
(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(867): Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes. http://tfl.nu/k4jj

Replies (13) Good night (2681) Bad night (1202)
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity http://tfl.nu/qinl

Replies (67) Good night (12132) Bad night (1346)
Favorite
(365): View more from

Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(365): Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine http://tfl.nu/mm7j

Replies (13) Good night (4767) Bad night (990)
Favorite
(434): View more from Virginia

Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(434): Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying. http://tfl.nu/4yli

Replies (3) Good night (2266) Bad night (918)
Favorite
(775): View more from Nevada

I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(775): I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex. http://tfl.nu/bvr1

Replies (20) Good night (5850) Bad night (1114)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless. http://tfl.nu/y6il

Replies (9) Good night (2847) Bad night (1284)
Favorite
(647): View more from Ontario

Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics

(416): View more from Toronto

But that's half the fun of it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(647): Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics (416): But that's half the fun of it http://tfl.nu/vf29

Replies (6) Good night (2546) Bad night (827)
Favorite
(270): View more from Kentucky

No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(270): No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife. http://tfl.nu/ovxt

Replies (4) Good night (1965) Bad night (983)
Favorite
(270): View more from Kentucky

my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(270): my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy http://tfl.nu/5thn

Replies (9) Good night (2516) Bad night (624)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!" http://tfl.nu/th1o

Replies (13) Good night (2038) Bad night (543)
Favorite
(386): View more from Florida

Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(386): Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately. http://tfl.nu/yc56

Replies (1) Good night (1394) Bad night (367)
Favorite
(989): View more from Michigan

I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(989): I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants.... http://tfl.nu/17h8

Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (380)
Favorite
(407): View more from Florida

I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(407): I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again. http://tfl.nu/tkx0

Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (624)
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.

(1-801): View more from Utah

20.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day. (1-801): 20. http://tfl.nu/vqhd

Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (318)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard