Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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  (404): I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life. http://tfl.nu/huxl
  Replies (168) Good night (5960) Bad night (6790)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.

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  (512): I'm so hungover that the internet is hard. http://tfl.nu/0l8c
  Replies (17) Good night (4148) Bad night (1185)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.

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  (936): You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that. http://tfl.nu/w7w8
  Replies (18) Good night (2146) Bad night (6667)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.

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  (847): Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant. http://tfl.nu/q6o4
  Replies (19) Good night (1246) Bad night (9153)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.

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  (412): I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay. http://tfl.nu/hmq3
  Replies (10) Good night (1427) Bad night (2945)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.

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  (937): I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad. http://tfl.nu/m8mw
  Replies (13) Good night (5378) Bad night (898)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?

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  (607): Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be? http://tfl.nu/nsuv
  Replies (31) Good night (3065) Bad night (867)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.

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  (586): We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds. http://tfl.nu/hj47
  Replies (9) Good night (1891) Bad night (1263)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.

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  (386): Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here. http://tfl.nu/vy2d
  Replies (6) Good night (2041) Bad night (794)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony

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  (409): Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony http://tfl.nu/ljga
  Replies (2) Good night (1385) Bad night (412)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.

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  (903): He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/oox7
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (380)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.

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  (540): Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot. http://tfl.nu/omko
  Replies (8) Good night (1820) Bad night (459)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house

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  (336): Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house http://tfl.nu/ap4l
  Replies (2) Good night (800) Bad night (295)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.

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  (208): Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache. http://tfl.nu/ndot
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (475)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You were supposed to behave this weekend.

  (1+61): View more from

  But... naked.

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  (+61): You were supposed to behave this weekend. (1+61): But... naked. http://tfl.nu/grfl
  Replies (3) Good night (755) Bad night (262)

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