How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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