Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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