and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
