im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
