And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
