i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Randomize
