I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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