i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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