if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
