I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
