it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
