i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The Olympian is in my bed
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