nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
