We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
