What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
