I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
