so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
