Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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