would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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