Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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