Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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