I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
