it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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