Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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