The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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