I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
