Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."

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  (917): He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this." http://tfl.nu/rnir
  Replies (45) Good night (851) Bad night (6407)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again

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  (519): oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again http://tfl.nu/6u76
  Replies (22) Good night (6997) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'

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  (917): well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv' http://tfl.nu/bicf
  Replies (49) Good night (10927) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.

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  (860): Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years. http://tfl.nu/9khg
  Replies (78) Good night (6680) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns

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  (734): If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns http://tfl.nu/c8s4
  Replies (23) Good night (797) Bad night (3169) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact

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  (646): lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact http://tfl.nu/9ru6
  Replies (26) Good night (6697) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?

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  (207): I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar? http://tfl.nu/a7cq
  Replies (37) Good night (6849) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?

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  (214): decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!? http://tfl.nu/ozc5
  Replies (31) Good night (9437) Bad night (942)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle

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  (860): i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle http://tfl.nu/gxwa
  Replies (24) Good night (1281) Bad night (5409) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.

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  (509): They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried. http://tfl.nu/h9l8
  Replies (17) Good night (1983) Bad night (4190) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.

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  (570): he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough. http://tfl.nu/fko8
  Replies (8) Good night (4880) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.

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  (240): All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson. http://tfl.nu/a7nh
  Replies (7) Good night (2205) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (648): View more from

  Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.

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  (648): Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me. http://tfl.nu/1al0
  Replies (5) Good night (1161) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?

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  (920): My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls? http://tfl.nu/f946
  Replies (9) Good night (1279) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.

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  (817): I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/nj2j
  Replies (4) Good night (269) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt

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