At least make sure they are 18
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.