Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out

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  (818): why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out http://tfl.nu/15js
  Replies (2) Good night (1184) Bad night (648)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.

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  (416): I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon. http://tfl.nu/un6b
  Replies (7) Good night (661) Bad night (4432)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm

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  (386): Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm http://tfl.nu/fmji
  Replies (12) Good night (719) Bad night (4285)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Is licking assholes a new fad or something?

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  (810): Is licking assholes a new fad or something? http://tfl.nu/gtcd
  Replies (59) Good night (1141) Bad night (3795)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.

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  (713): yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome. http://tfl.nu/dlc1
  Replies (23) Good night (4841) Bad night (575)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  All my credit cards need to be pressure washed

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  (617): All my credit cards need to be pressure washed http://tfl.nu/kgeq
  Replies (5) Good night (1093) Bad night (916)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.

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  (914): I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me. http://tfl.nu/7a7a
  Replies (5) Good night (1526) Bad night (1621)
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  (831): View more from California

  i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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  (831): i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something http://tfl.nu/b053
  Replies (10) Good night (1678) Bad night (746)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.

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  (561): I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk. http://tfl.nu/i2nj
  Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (492)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."

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  (860): I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off." http://tfl.nu/975o
  Replies (8) Good night (1604) Bad night (489)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.

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  (585): Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello. http://tfl.nu/2jqd
  Replies (6) Good night (825) Bad night (1718)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.

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  (307): Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too. http://tfl.nu/aq9s
  Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (414)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor

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  (705): Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/ic3x
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (943)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.

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  (609): I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room. http://tfl.nu/he9i
  Replies (8) Good night (674) Bad night (627)
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  (818): View more from California

  You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.

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  (818): You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on. http://tfl.nu/jsq7
  Replies (2) Good night (792) Bad night (259)

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