Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there

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  (504): i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there http://tfl.nu/461i
  Replies (4) Good night (2014) Bad night (523)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT

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  (208): THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT http://tfl.nu/btha
  Replies (22) Good night (2919) Bad night (1108)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts

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  (850): I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts http://tfl.nu/nzvy
  Replies (34) Good night (862) Bad night (4025)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.

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  (615): my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap. http://tfl.nu/2c94
  Replies (27) Good night (4252) Bad night (762)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.

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  (856): just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better. http://tfl.nu/p7cf
  Replies (28) Good night (7948) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.

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  (562): So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later. http://tfl.nu/b9wm
  Replies (17) Good night (5457) Bad night (995)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.

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  (304): Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit. http://tfl.nu/67fb
  Replies (20) Good night (4252) Bad night (1083)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.

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  (+44): We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this. http://tfl.nu/pfxy
  Replies (6) Good night (4399) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas

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  (713): The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas http://tfl.nu/0bvq
  Replies (3) Good night (2558) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.

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  (406): All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven. http://tfl.nu/uskg
  Replies (11) Good night (1882) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.

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  (404): So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care. http://tfl.nu/6j38
  Replies (16) Good night (1009) Bad night (1776)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.

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  (858): The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out. http://tfl.nu/1ep1
  Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!

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  (562): Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?! http://tfl.nu/ufe7
  Replies (6) Good night (311) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Sure. But we have to be quiet.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Ninja mode activated

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  (775): Sure. But we have to be quiet. (1-775): Ninja mode activated http://tfl.nu/1wq1
  Replies (5) Good night (1219) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?

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  (303): He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery? http://tfl.nu/y325
  Replies (10) Good night (348) Bad night (728)

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