Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3

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  (480): gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3 http://tfl.nu/7tkz
  Replies (5) Good night (3218) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Bisexual people are plain selfish.

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  (419): Bisexual people are plain selfish. http://tfl.nu/ksuw
  Replies (53) Good night (3867) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.

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  (407): Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama. http://tfl.nu/o21n
  Replies (59) Good night (778) Bad night (3632)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine

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  (585): I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine http://tfl.nu/d7kh
  Replies (12) Good night (849) Bad night (6348)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.

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  (512): Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer. http://tfl.nu/t35w
  Replies (22) Good night (4438) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar

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  (720): You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar http://tfl.nu/nzkd
  Replies (21) Good night (8485) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard

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  (708): I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard http://tfl.nu/i4gj
  Replies (19) Good night (4126) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year

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  (732): I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year http://tfl.nu/jq5i
  Replies (23) Good night (5904) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  You need to not admit that.

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  (513): We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix (1-513): You need to not admit that. http://tfl.nu/r8yn
  Replies (2) Good night (1221) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.

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  (203): I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant. http://tfl.nu/7i15
  Replies (6) Good night (1950) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.

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  (801): I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow. http://tfl.nu/o553
  Replies (8) Good night (988) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.

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  (903): Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell. http://tfl.nu/clzb
  Replies (4) Good night (523) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Best superhero ever to exist

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  (630): I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman (1-630): Best superhero ever to exist http://tfl.nu/bh1h
  Replies (6) Good night (1003) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."

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  (415): A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us." http://tfl.nu/94uv
  Replies (4) Good night (557) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Your word choices worry me.

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  (520): Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants? (614): Your word choices worry me. http://tfl.nu/ader
  Replies (5) Good night (507) Bad night (260)

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