I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants