I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT