roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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