is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I would ride that face into the sunset
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