Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think your dad took our porno
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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