I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
